Hellish Ocean

I am drowning in a sea of you.
I am not sure when my breathing stopped.
I feel the liquid of you filling my lungs.
I am not sure I want to live through this.
I know you will take my life someday.
I am powerless to stop this horrid sin.
I will give in to it until there is nothing left.
I have no way of protecting myself from you.
I hurt just feeling the suffocating waves crush me.
I am nothing to you anyway.
I know you hate me, yet I can't help myself.
I will not be forgiven for sins committed against you.
I have no right to ask for forgiveness.
I only have the right to beg you to end it.
I only can only ask you to drown me with your anger.
I can only see your violence, born of my fear.
I can only wait as you find salvation in my pain.
I embrace the waters, waiting for the end, coming soon.
I feel this as certain as I feel Hell's light on me.
I will never heal, nor will you.
I know this is our only truth, our only knowledge.
I never wanted to be this thing for you to hate.
I wanted to see you walk away from this sinner.
I knew it would be me drifting in your ocean of blood.
I will loose everything in this sea,
I care not, it is my penance.
I am nothing to you, just a stone cast in your ocean.
I will not survive this sin.
I have no right to.

-Raven

**February 6, 2006